There was a time when I thought confidence was built through independence.
Do it yourself.
Figure it out.
Don’t ask for help.
Don’t slow anyone else down.
That belief runs deep, especially for women and LGBTQ+ leaders. We’re praised for being capable. Resilient. The ones who “handle it.”
From the outside, it looks strong.
From the inside, it’s heavy.
Here’s what I’ve learned, slowly and honestly:
Confidence doesn’t grow in isolation.
It grows when you’re supported.
My business didn’t get stronger when I pushed harder or tightened my grip. It got stronger when I stopped pretending I had to carry everything myself.
And that shift changed everything.
When Independence Stops Being Helpful
There is a healthy version of independence.
And then there’s the version that quietly turns into isolation.
It sounds like:
- “I should be able to figure this out.”
- “I don’t want to bother anyone.”
- “I’ll ask for help once things settle down.”
Confidence isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about knowing how to stay steady while you’re figuring it out.
For me, the turning point came in my third year of business.
For the first few years, I was everything. Strategy, copy, social, sales, video, design, client care. If it needed doing, I did it. And for a while, that worked. Until it didn’t.
It was cumulative. It was dramatic. Too many roles. Too much responsibility. Too much mental load.
And then something shifted.
I admitted something out loud that changed the trajectory of my business:
I needed help.
Around the same time, Amy reached out to me. The timing was uncanny. I had already been saying to the Universe, “I need support,” but I hadn’t yet given myself permission to ask for it publicly.
I asked, and she said yes.
Amy started with us as a social media manager and is now our Production Director. She’s in her almost sixth year(!) with me, and we’ve grown this agency together.
That one decision changed my relationship with confidence.
What Support Made Possible
Support didn’t just give me help.
It gave me relief.
I slept better because I wasn’t carrying every worry alone. I wasn’t constantly wondering if something would get missed or if I could keep up with the pace. Decisions became clearer because I wasn’t deciding everything in a vacuum.
Amy brought perspective. She helped sharpen our processes. She kept us honest about what we were offering and what we could realistically deliver. That clarity didn’t slow us down. It strengthened us.
And there was something else I didn’t expect.
Joy came back into my work.
I thrive in collaboration. I always have. That’s why I played team sports. That’s why I love building alongside people. Having support that aligned with who I am and how I operate didn’t dilute my leadership. It activated it.
That foundation only deepened when Joe and Jacque joined the team.
Now? We’re cooking with fire!
Not chaotic fire.
Grounded, capable, heart-centered fire.
The kind that comes from a team that trusts each other, supports each other, and genuinely cares about the work and the people behind it.
Support didn’t make me weaker. It made me steadier.
Confidence Is a Team Sport
The strongest leaders I know aren’t doing this alone.
They have:
- people they think with
- people who bring clarity, not pressure
- people who help carry the weight
They understand something important:
Support is strategy.
Human beings are wired to build together. To solve problems together. To move things forward together. When we pretend otherwise, we’re working against our own nature.
Confidence grows when you’re backed by the right people.
Social Media Is Still About Relationships
Your online presence doesn’t need to feel draining to work.
It works best when it’s relational.
That means being where your people actually are, choosing systems that support consistency without depletion, and building visibility that feels sustainable.
At Holloway Media Services, we help CEOs build marketing systems that support connection and clarity. When your nervous system is supported, your message lands differently.
That’s not accidental. That’s intentional.
🔁 Confidence Practice: Identify Your Support Gap
Confidence grows faster when you stop trying to do everything yourself. This week, take five minutes and ask yourself:
Where am I still operating solo that doesn’t need to be?
Then choose one place to invite support.
That might look like:
- Hiring a graphic designer instead of doing visuals yourself
- Bringing on a VA to handle scheduling, inbox, or admin tasks
- Asking a team member to own a process you’ve been managing
- Joining a peer group where you can think out loud with people who get it
- Bringing in outside expertise instead of figuring it out the hard way
Support doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive. It just has to be aligned. One small decision to stop carrying everything alone can change how steady and confident you feel.
You don’t need more willpower.
You need better support.
⚡️ Powerline
(Each month, we’ll share a Powerline: a punchy phrase to steady your energy, lock in your confidence, and help you lead online and off.)
“I am supported, and so I rise, like a rocketship blasting through the sky!” 🚀👩🚀
Cheering you on,
Heather 💚
You were never meant to do this alone.
If growth is starting to feel heavier instead of clearer, that’s not a failure. It’s information. Let’s talk about what you’re building, where you feel supported, and where the right support could change everything.
